Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Tips on LOVE

The sincerest love is the love of food.

 Bernard Shaw .

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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. 

Josh Billings

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

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Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!   Unknown

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The great question… which I have not been able to
answer… is, “What  ..does a woman want?” 

— Freud

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Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”

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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

 David Bissonette

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him

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Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.”

 Mae West

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Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce

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Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law

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Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

-Oscar Wilde

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 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—

Zsa Zsa Gabor

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My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

 Coleridge

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One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

 Benjamin Franklin

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.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henry Youngman

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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller

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If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.

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If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

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Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss

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All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

 Lord Byron

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“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
Jimmy Durante.

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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein – Funny Love Quotes

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
 
Anonymous

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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus

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 Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.”
George Burns.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city.”
George Burns.

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 I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray.

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 In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”

Woody Allen.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday
is to forget it once

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Yawn – Nature’s way of letting married men open their mouths

Anon

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 I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

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 I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

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Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence

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 A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

 Milton Berle

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A wife is  someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single. 

unknown

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I think, therefore I’m single.

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.


–Rabrindranath Tagore —

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
–Norma O. Abrego —

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship–never
–Charles Caleb Colton —

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the
imagination and bottling the common sense.
–Helen Rowland —

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
–Mother Teresa —

One advantage of marriage It seems to me
Is that when you fall out of love with him
Or he falls out of love with you
It keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
–Judith Viorst —

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination
nor both together go to the making of genius.
Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
–Mozart —

Love teaches even asses to dance.
–French Proverb —

Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!

To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love,
and there is no error, no sin sickness, nor death.
–Mary Baker Eddy —

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship–never
–Charles Caleb Colton —

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
–Norma O. Abrego —

Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life
And when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear
comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful
— a thought that is love.
–Mary Manin Morrissey —

We must love one another or die
–W.H. Auden poem —

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
–Walt Disney —

Never sign a valentine with your own name.
–Charles Dickens —

Love: Two minds without a single thought.
–Philip Barry —

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!
–Lucy Van Pelt —

Where does the family start ? It starts with a young man
falling in love with a girl – no superior alternative has yet been found.
–Sir Winston Churchill —

Platonic love is like an inactive volcano.
–Andre Pevost —

If the universe has any purpose more important than
topping a woman you love and making a baby with her
hearty help, I have never heard of it.
–Rabert A. Henlein Lazarus Long —

Christianity has done a great deal for love by making a sin of it.
–Anatole France —

It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.
–Mother Teresa –

As in

http://www.latestngreatest.net/funny_quotes.htm#ixzz1mNsXPt00

http://coolfunnyquotes.blogspot.com/2007/03/funny-love-quotes-sayings-quotations.html

 

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